Back again, (Yes I say it like once every 4 months)

And I’m here again, I mean, I never left but I didn’t posted at all. Why would I? nobody reads this column, or at least that was what I thought, until I saw that people looked for the last posts that was weird, nobody ask for a new update or rise their hand to say anything, but I suppose that people likes to keep quiet when I express myself unless I say something in a public forum where they can show the world how little they got from what I said.

So in other words I will try to keep writing more often, some bitching, some reviews and some blogging but all in good fate of not going crazy.

See you soon!

Wake up is hard.

Sleeping is easy, even if I’m not tired I can fall sleep, and when I can’t sleep anymore I don’t want to wake up and try to sleep more, even if my body hurts from laying on my bed I don’t want to face the death in life that my daily routine has become.

I’m not tired but I want to sleep all day, I have all my strength but I don’t want to move at all, food has lost is taste and games its appeal, is not that I’m becoming a boring adult, is that I just lost my view on the world.

Every day is the same; wake up, sit in the living room, eat something and go back to bed. I lost my will to go out because my brother always want to come along but he wakes up at noon and doesn’t want to move but if I want to do something he tells me to do it the next day, and the next day he doesn’t say anything and I don’t want to go out at all so we stay watching the same TV shows on reruns or old movies.

Is hard to start to write something my head just wanders and I end doing nothing. Inside my mind there are a million stories original, fixes to other peoples and fan fics and I want to do them all but I can’t decide to take something and start to write.

Nobody talks to me or with me, I have an sporadic visit on FB from friends which I’m grateful for but most of the time I can’t say anything because I haven’t done anything. The person that was supposed to be the one with al talk the most, my brother, now is more self-absorbed on his smart phone talking to other people, he tries to keep a conversation with me but is only 30% of his attention, and when he decides that he wants to talk with me I’m going to bed.

My friends are all out of the city, country, continent and even so, there is nobody there to bounce ideas, and even if there was someone I’m so feed up that most likely I’ll not answer.

I’m trying to get out on the mornings on the bike ride around the city, literally around the city, is 2 hours and 15 minutes, to keep the energy flowing demanding my brain to do something and it worked for the first 5 days, my body hurt all over but I get home and did more stuff, clean and cook but the sixth day I decided to rest and by noon I was regretting that decision I felt bad again and even had the faint feeling of crying, you know a knot on the throat.

I think I have to keep on moving now there will be no rest, no day that I don’t go out, and I’ll hope I can get enough energy to start writing and get all this stories out of my head.

Sleeping is easy…

I’m not good for you.

Man do I have heard that title a bunch of times. Hey! Hello everybody, this is again a blog entry or more accurate a personal opinion about something that happen to me quite often, this is girls that try to tell me to fuck off but trying to be kind.

That phrase is by some reason the most common on the list and the complete conversation could be something like:

-I like you- Pretty much I say it fast so the girl is aware of me being interested.

-Oh! I didn’t notice that- Learn to lie girls –You are a very good and a nice guy, I don’t think I’m good for you-

-I think you are-

-That’s because you don’t know me-

-Can I get to know you to make my own idea?-

-No, you’ll find a girl that is right for you, good bye-

That is how it normally goes, but what is kind of weird is that those same girls blocked my feed from FB or even unfriend me for posts that I think are funny, or for giving my opinion about a subject, or just express myself, and that raises the question “So now you are better than me, so much that you can’t have me as a friend?” is very weird.

And I know that all those girls are just trying to be nice and tell me to fuck off but I think that phrases like “Get away creep!” “You are so ugly I can barely stand to have you around” and “go back to your sewer mutant” are not considered politically correct in this society.

  

The worst part is that they say “I don’t care about looks, I like personalities and intelligence” but that is bullshit because the looks are a big part in attraction, yes you can love a person besides his/her looks but how do they look is a part, and one big part of my experiment was with a friend. He and I have very similar personalities and intelligence, but he is way more attractive than me and he has a good radio voice, so we made almost the same jokes, and comments but he is celebrated while I’m condemned. Why is that, well looks help, and help a lot.

That guy is a great friend and I wish him the best, as for me I just hope for the best and prepare for the worst, also if you are a girl that I know and read this, now you know how and what I think. If you are pretty and I haven’t come on you, is because I don’t think I know you that well, or I’m not interested you can figure that out or ask me if you like I’ll be honest :P

I know that some people like how I look, but by some reason the girls that I had liked lately don’t get into that category, I never worry the world is full of pretty girls at least 1 should think that I’m not “Too good for her”

Pennies on the dollar.

Yesterday I received a letter from the government of Canada, was what I think the last of my tax return, summed up to a 95 dollars check :D

Many of you might think that is a misery or very little money, that nobody can do anything with that, maybe order a pizza or something like that, but for me is like hitting the jackpot!

Let me explain, as some of you might know I’m unemployed and with almost no savings, because of the low income I had for the past 2 years, I can barely survive, most of the expenses are covered by my brother  but once in a while I like to buy some groceries, fix my bike, or even  buy him something that he needs as a thank you gift.

For my brother those 95 dollars were nothing, for me is a little something that tells me “you can do it, just keep holding on”

Then again, I’m the guy how uses a flip phone in the era of the smart phones, the one that has a netbook instead of a laptop, the guy that most of his clothes had been handed over by friends (I call that gifts :) ) and yes the guy who sometimes searches in the trash for things and finds stuff (I took out my bike from a trashcan in Alberta :P )

So in the end I have 95 dollars and I think I’ll go crazy this Thanks Giving and prepare a big dinner and going to spend up to 22 dollars on it everything included :D