Movie Review The Wolf Of Wall Street

 

The Wolf Of Wall Street

(AKA: Who needs actual events when you have lots of boobs?)

I know it took me a while to write this but put yourself in my place, I didn’t wanted to make it just an angry rant (that it might ended being) but I wanted to use actual facts of this movie, actual things of storytelling, film making, script writing, adaptation and character development. Why so much of all that stuff? Because this movie is so poorly made that if I only focus on the movie it will be like 2 short paragraphs about the lack of story and that is way too similar to “Good Fellas”.

Well without anything else to warn you here it is, also SPOILERS but you know that by now :P

Well first of all I want all of you to notice the poster that I used, I tried to keep it classy because almost all the posters of this movie have are inappropriate to be displayed in a movie theatre, I mean there are children there, you advertise this thing just beside “Frozen” for God’s sake! But also let’s be realistic if you use this poster people could have though that this was an actual movie based on actual events, and not just 3 hours of nothing, nudity and yelling. Also notice the horrible yellow color of it, I mean if you wanted to look like a wall street light billboard you could make it black background and the numbers green and red with the name of the movie in white (You are in serious trouble when I’m giving you design advise).

This movie tells (or at least this is what they want you to believe) the story of Jordan Belfort, how he started, became a millionaire, lost everything and ended in jail, but as a satire, or at least that is what Scorsese tells himself and to the press, and a lot of people believe it. But this movie fails in everything. I mean how a movie with that amount of boobs and even a monkey can be so boring? I tell you how, doing the same over and over and over again without giving you the minimal story what so ever.

The movie begins with DiCaprio (Or whatever you spell it) getting in the business of selling stocks to people, he starts as assistant for like 2 minutes or less and then he is one of the important after lots of time learning the business (but we don’t need to know all of that) he loses that job, but immediately finds another one and he is the best in what he does the moment he sits there because of all that he learned from the time he spend working as an assistant (The part that we didn’t watch, remember?) and now he is a millionaire and then the movie ends.

The problem in this movie is that we don’t see how he learned, why he became greedy (at the beginning he is noble and nice, when was that switch?) We never got that inside view of his life or his work, not even that the movie talks down to the audience, like if Wall street were the most difficult job ever, but when it gives the small explanation about what they were doing I got it perfectly, and I haven’t got any interest in economy in my life. But that was the way of the screenwriter to focus more in the plot and character development, right? NO! They just cut to more hookers and drugs, is the only this movie has.

The characters are like themselves since the minute 8 of the movie until the end, the story has no progression in any direction, it has nothing. And if someone tries to bring the “It’s a satire” thing, let me tell you something about Satire, is still a movie, still a story, it needs character arcs, or at least evolution, things that happen, relate or antagonize, more than one straight line towards nonsense nudity and drugs. I mean they had a book of actual events, and they didn’t use it! Because as the great Scorsese said “I wanted to make a movie about execs”, so why took somebody’s life story and change it to make it just a lot of naked people doing drugs? Just make your own movie about it and don’t give any credit to anyone, I mean this guy already have his legion of fan boys that will defend every horrible movie he makes.

I have heard some actual facts about the real Jordan Belfort and sounds way better than the movie, and in some way more excess than it looks in the movie, why well because the problem with a movie like this is that they don’t give you a comparison point, if everything is whores and drugs, the audience gets desensitized in less than 5 minutes, and then where do you go from there? You have to be even more outrageous or calm down for a while, but the movie just keep the same rhythm and that is what it make is awful and impossible to watch, and it keeps like that forever.

I mean Satire, Parody, Farce, Cartoon, Comedy in general, all need a story, a guide line, if it not why jack ass wasn’t nominated for best picture? I mean it has almost the same amount of swearing and naked people, but by some reason Jackass makes more sense that this one.

So in just to short, this movie is not boring, is a dead sentence to you, is painful and an insult to the viewer, also way too long, not worthy of the film where is printed, just avoid it at all cause.

0, Zero, non-stars, Nada, (And that is because I’m figuring out a way to grade it lower, so don’t watch it, and shake your fists at Scorsese every time you see him)

Also I expanded a little more in a friend's blog at world's press, just check the comments on his note of this movie, I'm the longest :P he is Samuel