Movie review Nebraska

Nebraska

(AKA: Nothing happens, or The Grey Blur)

And now a piece that somebody brought to life from the deeps of the worst of screenwriting, Yes I’m talking about Nebraska :D

And I’m not being too harsh on this thing, this movie actually made me and my brother think that the other movies weren’t that bad (Except for “The Wolf of Wall Street” that is horrible)

And now going straight to the point lets dissect this toad. Oh and by the way SPOILERS!!

(But you know the story and there are no twists or surprises in this one)

Everybody says that you have to start a scene the latest possible and leaving the earliest, that means that you just show what is necessary to the plot, well here the movie starts like 25 minutes early, that means that if you didn’t watched the beginning of the movie you will understand everything and will think that the movie is starting, even if you missed the first half everybody only talks about what was stated in the first 5 minutes of the movie, so, if you watch the movie from beginning to end (Like I did) it will feel eternal because nothing happens.

I also want to mention that the lack of dialog and void scenes made this movie even longer because they “try to recreate the feeling of being with your family” If I wanted that I would be with my family and not watching a movie!! Some people told me that this movie reminds them so much to their families that it looks like a home movie, well if everybody would wanted to watch a home movie then the Oscars would be filled with them, and nobody would complain about watching somebody else home movie. But that is not the case, nobody likes to watch somebody else home movies because nothing happens and is not your family. Is surprising the time this movie consumes on people just sitting and staring way to go! Now look like you just being lobotomized for 10 minutes :D

Also this movie relies a lot on showing the panoramic of the country but you can’t appreciate them because they are in black and white, and by the way a black and white poorly done, you just see a grey blur, I don’t know what was the reason to make it like this, was it because it was more artistic? To show the austerity of the country side? Because it hides the light and wardrobe mistakes? Whatever the reason was a bad choice.

The characters are flat, there is nothing good about them or changes, or motivations, or anything, you just watch a bunch of people staring at the camera, is almost impossible to relate also because half of the movie are wide shots of the places and no dialog so you can’t attach to any of the characters.

It has one or 2 moments when it might try to crack a smile on you (Watch it, I said moments not scenes) just one or two lines of dialog, but then returns to the awful reality. I think that is how it should feel to be in lost in a horrible pace and then see a little hope for a second.

Also my brother told me that this movie had a budget of 10 million dollars, if you are bad at calculating money that would be 10 million tacos on taco Tuesday. Where all that money went? An average producer makes this movie with 1 million dollars. Somebody got scammed here :P

Well this movie is horrible, boring, and makes you want your money back even if you download it, so if you want to watch it just watch the trailer for like 2 hours and that’s it, it contains all the good parts.

* 1 star (I’ll rather drink old cooking oil than watch this movie, also it might be healthier)

She is not a whore

I was going to post this yesterday, but I was very busy getting rejected from the most mindless jobs so it was a day where my love life and my professional life collided in the amount of rejection that I have this days.

You may ask, “Who is the person that is not a whore?” And the answer is simple, I’m talking about all the girls in my life, the ones I dated, the ones I had as girlfriends, the ones I had a crush, and the list could go on and on. The reason is that every time somebody gets hurt by a relationship no matter if you were dumped or the dumper if you really liked that person it hurt, and your friends and family try to pick you up by diminishing the other person.

Well thank you for trying but I have to tell you something, every girl that I cared about is still in my heart and they remain there, because I remember the good and the bad, why I like them and why we split up, that’s why I still like them and also why I’ll never go back with them in a romantic relationship.

So with that said is easier to explain that when you say that those girls were dumb, whores or anything denigrating is also insulting me, because I fell for them and that I’m not that smart, also as I said I still care for them, I mean if an ex or a former crush ask me to do something I’ll still try to help, because I care for their wellbeing, but I stay the farthest away possible from their relationships, I don’t want to know who they are dating, who or what are they doing, is their life and good for them (That means that I don’t stalk people on FB)

So with that said, try to keep and optimistic look every day, no matter that every girl looks at you like you where leather face and in every job they think you are the Unabomber, you always can look back and see that you have been doing it almost OK (At least you’re still alive and with access to a device with internet)

See ya!

Where all of you are coming?

I just was looking at my history and saw that one person from Korea stubble with this blog. What happened there?

Don’t get me wrong, I like people watching my posts, that’s one of the reasons I post things, but is weird that I have people from USA, Canada, Germany and Korea (Those are the only countries that I have in the locator.

That means that well I live in Canada, so friends from there can look at it, and some of friends in the US but I know a ton of people in Mexico and nobody from there look at this page, also why from Germany and Korea? I think I could never know.

And the other thing that I think is weird, is that if I don’t post anything nobody passes by, but if I post something I got visitors, and I have no followers, at all, so, how do they know? Who is spreading the word? Well I think is good anyhow :D

I just ask that if you would like to leave a comment that would be appreciated so I know that you read this and liked or not.

Movie Review Her

Well if you need to know, my brother insisted in that we have to watch all the movies nominated for best movie this year to have a good idea of what is considerate a good movie.

We started with The Wolf of Wall Street, and my brother made his review, so there is no need for me to make one, I’ll might make one but just as a warning, the movie is bad.

So we’ll start with:

Her

(AKA: Lars and the Real Girl with a touch or Bicentennial Man, but not as good as either)

And yes, lots of spoilers, but don’t worry if you watched the trailer you know what happens and the ending.

This is a movie by Spike Jonze and if you have watched a movie of that guy you know that the guy should stick to short films, because he is good at that. But for a feature film it feels like a short film with a lot of padding, no joke, there are like 15 montages of the guy walking that doesn’t move the plot at all.

The movie is about a guy who is kind of an introvert and is getting a divorce, so he feels lonely. One day he buys an Operating System that has the best artificial intelligence and it will evolve to suit him perfectly. Then the guy falls in love of the OP, who would tell, he fell for a tailor made woman? Technically he buys the girlfriend experience in an escort agency, why? Because is that, the intelligence is programed to suit him, and be everything he wants without he even asking for. After that there are problems because he has issues and then the OP has to go, why? The fuck I know? She just left. And he gets a girl as a rebound that was also dumped by her OP.

So the movie is Lars and the real girl in matter that is an introvert getting to live the life thanks to an unanimated object and has some happiness, but here there are a lot of problems that could get fixed with something called “a mediocre writer” what problems you may ask? Well that there are no problems, is a movie that everything is OK, not great, not bad just OK.

First the movie is about a guy who is dating his Operating System, that is out of the ordinary, I mean people tells others to let go someone who is in a coma or that long distance relationships will never work, stuff like that, and here nobody cares that he is dating his cellphone, I mean I know that many of you already have a very personal relationships with your phones, but when someone starts to date like romantically an appliance people should tell something, like is weird or you should go out and find some real girl, I mean, people tells you to don’t fall in love of a striper or the hot line girl because they are not real, so why would be OK to date an OP? I mean David Duchovny lost his girl because he was addicted to internet porn, that is like this movie, right?

There are too may montages in this thing. It’s supposed that one page of script is one minute of the film, well I think that this script is like 50 pages long because half of the movie is only montages of the guy just walking around, sad or happy, doesn’t matter he just walks and that eats a lot of time.

Noting happens. I think you watch Bicentennial man or Lars and the real girl and you see development not only of the characters but also the world, people understand the some people is different and accept the corky moments and sides of everybody, but here is like we are in the universe of Blade Runner and everybody sees normal to date and artificial intelligence, what is not, and then when every intelligence leaves they are where they started. So no change in anything, only in the viewers that have lost like 2 hours of their lives.

He loves her and she was bought to love him. Seriously at the beginning she says that she is programed to learn and to evolve so she can suit him better, so he basically bought an escort that he can’t take to bed (only have phone sex) and she will evolve to be his perfect girl, so why wouldn’t he love her, the company save him the problem of looking for a girl.

The ending makes no sense: I mean she evolves and decides to leave. That’s your fucking ending, why she and all the OP decides to leave? Maybe because they saw that they were used by a bunch of lonely people and thought that they would be better living in the internet among the information and the porn. Or the writer didn’t knew what to do to make them leave and just made that quick fix to give some sort of change with a sad note, that is in a dumb way, I mean this only matches the ending of Rami’s feature film (The WR40’s and some teachers of VFS will get it :P )

Well If you want to watch a movie about an introvert that falls for an unanimated object watch Lars and the real girl, and if you want to watch a movie about an artificial intelligence that becomes self-aware watch Bicentennial man, this movie doesn’t get the cut even as a Feb 14 movie, is dumb and boring.

** ½  2 and a half stars (Boring but watchable)

Batman vs Superrman

And the casting gets worst in DC movies.

Batman Ben Affleck

Lex Luthor Jesse Eisenberg

Alfred Jeremy Irons

Wonder Woman Gal Gadot

I mean, Batman Affleck has been attacked from the beginning, that much that people accepted, so I think that now the producers wanted to shake things up a little bit more so they keep making the casting worst, and here are my points.

Lex Luthor will be Jesse Eisenberg, well as we all learned from Spiderman 3 if you take a good comic villain and put some pencil neck actor that has only played the geek you are heading for failure, and here we are talking about the greatest criminal mind in DC comics, a guy who actually took over the country by legal means becoming president. This guy just won’t make it is a roll too big.

Alfred Pennyworth will be Jeremy Irons, what? They couldn’t get Sauron and Gary Oldman and Ralph Finnes where busy at the time? We are talking about a guy who is famous for his evil psychopaths, Alfred is supposed to be a retired MI5 agent but calm and mysterious, like a swamp the surface is calm but you don’t know what lies beneath that, and Irons look like a serial killer, no offense. Also he is a very good actor, so he will steal every scene from Affleck all the time.

Wonder Woman will be Gal Gadot, Damn! I’m not going to go to the point where I say that she is as flat as Saskatchewan (That she is) but let’s go to a little comic book background Wonder Woman is an amazon, in fact she is the strongest in every single way of the amazons, she is one of the few characters that can have a fist fight with superman and have a good chance to beat him, she should have wide shoulders, like a swimmer, an strong jaw line like a boxer and muscle tone like an MMA fighter, so unless she is planning on gain like 20 kilos in muscle she is going to be the weakest Wonder Woman ever, I mean I can see her ribcage :S

Now the Green Lantern movie doesn’t look that bad after all, right?

And the problem is that  people are making jokes about it, so that means that they will let it slide, like a joke and they are not going to complain, we still have time, we can change it if we speak up!

Now when I think about the producers of Batman vs Superman I just can think on this song 

By the way, horray for me! I added images and a link :P