American Gods: Review

American Gods

I hear way too much praise to this series and I don’t know why, I mean have I been watching the wrong American Gods? So I want to make my point on why this show can’t find its own ass even sitting on its hands.

I like Brian Fuller, the guy has, or had, a good eye for visuals, and the scenes on Hannibal were deep in every sense, I mean I liked to watch that series with the headphones so I could not miss a single sound and watched to like 30 cm of the screen so I could only watch the show and nothing else. But now we have American Gods, a show inspired on a not very good book (no matter what the people say) and now I see that every little criticism the show gets the fanboys jump to the rescue, but this show deserves to be called out when it fails that for me is at least 3 times per episode. And yes I am one of those people that read the book, but that only gives me more ammunition to destroy every scene piece by piece and even the foundation for it that this show destroys it by itself, so let’s begin with the discectomy.

Well the appeal of the book is that it goes by the back roads of USA and to the small towns where you can find the biggest ball of razor wire or other road attractions. And watching the show I can see that Brian Fuller has never stepped out of the Highway and hit a backroad in his life, he has never gone to a truckers dinner, or charged gas on a small town gas station, which is also supermarket, restaurant and has some things to make it more colourful. If you go and stay for a while in those places you’ll notice that everything looks slower, almost like time has stopped is that kind of peace in the air, the silence, is unique. But here you have always motion, always there is something happening and it makes no sense. Also everything should look like normal, like everyday life but with a little twist to make it look twice just to make sure you actually saw that. Like the alligator bar, in the show everything was alligators and it looked like a whole crew worked to create that set, while in the book this was a simple dinner/bar with 3 alligators as decoration, already dusty and forgotten but it was because the owner of the place liked them and though they bring luck. And that takes me to every single shot. Everything in this show looks staged and carefully detailed to the most minimal piece and that is so wrong is so many levels for this story, because the idea should be that this world is the world we live but happens things that you are sure just happened random but a person is telling you that they are doing it, and for a second you have that doubt, that not believing in your own mind. But the fact that everything looks a set takes you out, it doesn’t look like an everyday moment, looks like a play where everything is fake.

The main point of the show is that the old gods are fading because people are forgetting them and by this same reason the old gods want nothing with the new world, so when they said that Czernobog is using the bolt gun or Bilquis is using online dating is a complete denial of their premise. In the book Czernobog is retired from the slaughter house, he stopped working there when the bolt gun came, Bilquis was a prostitute, this was to show how low they fell, from being goods to that pathetic existence, but they look like they are doing OK in the show, a comfy life. Czernobog should have been in a small apartment that should look like the apartment of an old person, full of old furniture and ceramic figurines and almost no space to move because a whole life was camped into that little place. But in the show we have a big apartment that looks more like an abandoned luxury hotel than an apartment.

The show wastes a lot of time with pointless scenes, like the ones of the Ifrit or Bilquis, and gives you nothing for good scenes. I mean Bilquis is a character that has nothing to give for the story, the only thing is for sex scenes. The Ifrit could have been a better scene if you could have a moment to care for the guy who was there, I mean give the guy a proper introduction, show him taking all the samples into his briefcase let us hear how he talks with his family, before you strip him naked and have sex, I didn’t care for either of them in that scene. Bilquis should be a speck of dust a token of a story like the “Coming to America” bits but no, we need to see her naked every damned episode, why? The hell I know, she does not have a plot or adds any of value to the story. And now that I touched the Coming to America bits, there are enough stories of that in the book to keep you interested but they decided to make their own, which are really bad, I mean the story of Mr Nancy, makes no sense, if he could see the future he should have made peace with his own vanishing. Instead they could have used the story of the twins, or the one for Mad Sweeney, and the prehistoric era one made no sense, that story was about how with time and mixing cultures people forget the old gods and adopt new ones, not changing religions by force. And there are way more stories and could take a little more time and go visit Shadow’s dreams, that also is kind of wrong, because he starts on a cavern in the dark, making reference to he doesn’t know anything and then he starts to learn, also they set the Yggdrasil too soon.

Also, this show can’t find a genre that fits it, I mean, is it adventure, mystery, comedy? What is it? Because it doesn’t fit at any of those. It has no mystery, the adventures are dull and the comedy is worse than third grade jokes. I mean a Viking steps into the grass and 10,000 arrows get him at the same time, that is just dumb and ridiculous, then the battle among 4 Vikings an arm flew still holding a sword and kills another guy, was it supposed to be funny? Laura kicks a guy between the legs and the skeleton flies out of the body, that is a level of stupid even I can point out. Again the idea of the story was that do normal things and you’ll not be sure if the gods had something to do with it. The part of the Vikings on the book was that they hang a native and then they go back to their land, but years later when they came back their gods where already there in that new lands waiting for them, something simple something mundane, not all that flashy, artsy stuff. It is supposed to make you think it is normal.

The characters are way worse as every episode passes Shadow was supposed to be a good guy that did one bad thing once and ended in jail for that, and even in jail he learned the coin tricks just to stay out of trouble and pass time, also he reads a lot, a good guy so normal that his wife got a little bored of him, but here let’s make him a scammer and a low life. We should have seen a change in Laura, because being dead takes all the emotion of life, that is the point when she say that she can taste cigarettes anymore life has lost its taste, but here she is more alive than ever, and cheeky also super annoying, we lost the Zen master and we got some drunk high schooler, also if she does not believe in anything why is she judged by Anubis, that by the way looks way too good to have been forgotten, she should have disappeared or at least follow a grim reaper. Mr World should have been on the shadows at least till the end of the season, he is supposed to be the head of the men in black (not all are gods, if you believe in something it is real, THAT is the premise) so it was just the super under agency of the government. Media was meant to start like a dream that you don’t know if it really happened or you just have been way too much in that world and then move on to a more real thing. I liked that they followed Mad Sweeney after he lose the coin, but he got to it way to fast, I mean in the book he never gets close to it, I would like to see him in little scenes during the whole season trying to figure out what is happening and then trying to make his own luck, but no, it lasted like 40 minutes, before the “Comedy part” of Laura.

The show looks like it tries to be something it is not, like the kid in middle school that tries too hard to be supper mature but is still a kid. I mean the book I liked at the beginning, but it was like those dishes that you like the first bite but the more you eat the less you like, so I had to force myself to finish the book, but it took the book ¾ of it to happen, in the show happened on the first half of the first episode.

Don’t get me wrong there are things I like, like the intro, that one is nice, it could have been done better and loses the idea very fast, it remembers me when a friend tried to make an artistic/protest/social conscience video and it should have been 7 minutes long and we ended with 45 seconds. The intro is the same, like they had a good idea but it went away very fast.

The show is bad, it hides itself behind that mask of artistic and colour, but if you scratch the surface and really see it is a bad show that can’t even follow its own rules.

Marco Polo: An actual review.

First of all I want to apologize for one comment that I made the previous post about Marco Polo, in which I said that there were going to be a fantasy element on the show, I thought I saw one but it was just the illusion caused by quick camera changes and not knowing the series, so what I’m saying is, there is no fantasy in this show.

Also I want to apologize because I had this review ready on December 23 but it slip from my mind and I'm uploading it until now.

  

Well but what can I say about a show that everybody is trashing? First I don’t know what everybody is complaining about, I mean the budget you can see where it went in every shot and every angle, the acting is well balanced, nobody is over or under playing their parts you can feel they were taking it really seriously. The lack of women? There are a ton of female characters, there is at least 1 strong female character for each man. The white guy how gets to civilize the barbarians and save the day? Far from it, and I’ll go deeper on all this themes and no spoilers on the show, because yes, it is that good.

First the review of the show:

This is a show based on an historical figure, I don’t know how accurate or loose is this base but they use it on a good way, I mean, people go and watch movies about exorcisms or an evil doll that are loosely inspired on the ramblings of an old priest, a drunk that called himself a ghost hunter and used to get money from some scared people, so why get so much into details of a story that feels right and have actual facts and investigation.

The show feels great it sets you the mood of every character by how they talk, they walk what do they do, is not black and white and you change your view of everything just by keep watching, at the beginning you might feel that the Mongols are barbarian and savages and then you see them and change that idea, and that happens to every character, and you like a character or the other and all of them feel deep with a rich background and with plans ahead, that makes good characters not just all being cool or having all the powers (Are you listening Moffat?)

 The settings are beautiful, if you don’t get why some people like oriental history give this show a try just sit there and enjoy the panoramic shots, the architecture of the palaces and gardens. The cinematography and photography reflects every moment as it should be the war councils feel the pressure, the conversations on the gardens are relaxed but feel like they have some double intention lurking in the shadows. You can just watch this show without audio and it will be very enjoyable, and I’m not talking about nudes scenes :P

Al the dialog is with an intention, not only to move the plot but to reveal a little more of the characters, but as I said not only what they say but how they say it, what are they doing while they say it, we have to remember that Oriental countries have strong traditions and discipline and patience is one of the strongest points, so they do all the rituals taking their time, you might even see a character holding his/her face when something upsets them during a dance or ritual.

Now to ease up the pain and doubts of people:

-It cost 90 million dollars!

Yes that is an amount of money, but you know what? Helicopter shots are not cheap, neither to hire more than 300 people to stand or represent a war and feed them, or to build throne rooms, make clothes for period pieces is not that cheap either, have a lot of horses and use them regularly, use actual oriental gardens and palaces, film in 4 different countries. What I’m saying is that you can see where all that money went, it was invested so we could watch a really good quality show.

And all these guys eat :P

-It is a copy of Game Of Thrones!

No is not, first this show is based on actual people and actual battles. Yes the idea might have come from making an epic show like GoT but it is very different. You don’t trust me well here I go.

First here there are no children playing war, in GoT you have Rob and Daenerys wining battles and ignoring their war councils in MP all are experienced war lords with seasoned war councils taking their time to make every move because it is important.

Second the camera is way open here than in GoT there you can see is almost all close ups even when they are outside because of reasons, but in MP you get panoramic shots even indoors what is awesome to watch Kublai Khan in his throne room.

Third we have horses, in GoT they avoid the use of horses or running on them, because horses are expensive and running on them means to rent a bigger piece of land and the insurance of the horse goes up, but in MP you can’t have Mongolia without running horses so we get horses running and lots of them.

Fourth there are not many stories, there is the main story threaded by lots of little stories, in Got we have like 5 main plots characters running wild and doing their thing, here is just one story, one war, two kingdoms, and all line up with them.

Don’t get me wrong I love GoT but what I’m saying this show is completely different, don’t look at it as another GoT but as a period piece.

Look they have a wall is a copy of GoT! You know who had wall too? China! And before GoT.

Feels old!

Of course it will feel old is history, and one that has been translated into movies, tv shows, cartoons, books, it even was on Doctor Who. So it will feel like history because it is, but the way is told is what makes it so great.

Two main characters, both women.

There are no women!

If you say that I’ll know you didn’t watched more than 15 minutes in. I mean there are a lot of female characters, each more amazing than the last one and all of them unfolds more mystery on the plot and on themselves. Yes is difficult try to being accurate and turn Maco Polo into a woman, what I’m almost sure all the people who say that there are no women in the show were expecting. But then you see that women are vital parts of the plot and that they have their own plots and objectives. Here is a very good explanation to the saying that “Behind every great man there is a great woman” because they give advice and they are as great as the man they stand behind.

The badassery of women is everywhere in this show!

 Is about a white man being the hero!

No is not, Marco Polo might be the name of the show but the character is our vessel, he is the way to deliver exposition to an audience that is not very familiar with oriental history and culture, but as the episodes go further we are more with Kublai Khan or Jia Sidao “The Cricket Minister” and less with Marco, because they are the main story. Also I’ll give to you to learn why is called “The Cricket Minister”

 

Yes there is a white guy, but you can't have a Marco Polo story without Marco Polo.

I watched 3 episodes one afternoon and I didn’t like it!

Well there is your problem, this show is not to watch it like 24 all in just one sitting, but to watch it and let it sink, to absorb and think about it, if you watch more than you can assimilate you will start to pay less attention, your mind will wonder and at the end you’ll be not getting any of what is happening, is like watching a movie falling sleep, your mind just don’t process it.

So the show is full of historic references like the Hashashin that where the first real assassins (the actual word assassin comes from Hashashin) and their leader Hassan I Sabbah (that he inspired Ra's al Ghul in Dc comics) and also Mongolian and Chinese culture, and that is great.

 Rules to watch this series:

-Turn off your cellphone.

-Do not eat during the episode.

-Do not talk during the episode.

-Listen to each and every conversation.

-Let it sink in.

So basically… Pay attention.

If you can follow this rules you might not like the show, but I think is great, not for everyone because some people don’t like war scenes or nudity but like Hundred Eyes said “If you can’t handle what’s happening, look away”

So I do recommend it to everyone, and I hope that they make more like this one, but about Genghis Khan and his rise of power, or a miniseries of Hundred Eyes, because I can read about what happened with Genghis or watch a documentary but I can think in just one phrase “I could read it, or watch it somewhere else but I want them to tell me the story”

Books vs E-reader

I just bought an E-reader and is a great piece of technology, that got me thinking, why there are so many paper books when everything could be electronic? The question came up because I saw all the advantages of an e-reader so I’ll say everything good about this and then my idea for a better future.

I don’t hate books, or think they are obsolete, I love how they look, how they feel, how they smell, the way they crack when you open them for the first time or how they feel after you finish them, the weight of a heavy book or the size of an small one, is great to have a book as a present because you don’t know anything about it most of the time, so you can see if the person knows you or what they think about you just by reading the back cover, so in one sentence books are great.

Some articles say “Some readers have internet, and colour screens and mp3” well to hell with those, I want to read a book, not behave like a 13 year old when is supposed to do his homework, also I bought the cheapest of the cheapest, the Kobo Touch, so here are the benefits of an e-reader.

First you can display the letters as big or small as you see them fit, yes no more adjusting how far the book should be just to read it, you control the size of the letters.

No more different fonts for my eyes (well only when I want it) because you can also control that, so if an editor wanted to look cool and uses a weird font you can change it back.

No more problems whit you languages, sometimes you read a book that has some words that you are not used to it, and if you are like me you run to the dictionary and see what it is, but if you are no vacation, most people don’t carry a dictionary all the time, I don’t, so you have to search the internet, and that means to turn on the computer that it might be in a different place and even turned off, or get an idea of the word by context, that is good but not great. Well e-readers have a build in dictionary and not just one, they have like 8, one for each language, so even if is your second or third language you’ll always know the meaning of each strange word.

This is my E-reader, as you can see I have books in Spanish too, this one was one I lost and now I have it in electronic format, A cookie to the person who can point the photoshop :D

Are you finishing a book? No problem! Again with the trips, but it had happened to any of you that you are reading a book and you are about to finish it but you are going on vacation and think, “I never read in my vacation maybe a couple of minutes in the airplane, I’ll never finish it in this trip” and then there are delays and the airplane movie just don’t do it and before takeoff you have finished and the next book you want to read is in your home or in the suitcase that you register? Well not anymore, because with this little fella you can have 1000 books ready to read, and if you can read 1000 books in the airport you are really fast or living in the airport, anyhow if you put the extra memory on the reader you can have30,000 books ready to roll, and if you can read 30,000 books waiting for your plane I think you already read every single book ever written.

No extra weight, you are carrying less than 200 grams no matter how fat the book you are reading also is the same space as a small notebook.

You can read anywhere, some people like to read under the sun, others in their houses under their favorite lamp, well a reader is just like a book, you can read anywhere you want, no problem at all.

Want to search for a specific part but can’t remember the page, the reader has a finder, also you can mark pages, make little virtual folds in the corners underline phrases and make annotations! Better than a book because if you don’t what any of those you can remove them and there is no harm on the book.

I’m not the kind of guy who wants to show the books that he has read like the heads of the animals I killed, so everybody can see that I read, if I read it that is fine by me, so I don’t care if my bookshelf has a ton of books or just an e-reader.

Some people say that is harder to borrow books whit e-readers well is just like “borrow” music, movies, software, images and almost everything that is on the internet… Arrrr!

There is a ton of e-books for free out there, because I don’t think that Jane Austen keep getting money for her books, so those are free.

Someone said that he didn’t want to take his e-reader to the tub because if it got wet it would stop working. Well dude if you get a book wet it also gets ruined, I don’t take my books to the tub so I’m not going to take my e-reader there.

You are not going to struggle with that hard split on the book, I like to hold my books with one hand but if you are reading something like “The Name Of The Wind” you have to stretch that book because the middle between both sides is always curved so you have to use both hands or move your head a lot, but with an e-reader you just read one page at a time and always perfectly flat.

It tells you how long did it take you to read the book in actual reading time!

That is everything I can think by now but I’m sure there are tons more of benefits.

I’m not saying that books should disappear but what I like to see happen is that everybody had an e-reader and actual paper books became something that you give as a high end present, a really great gift.